Expensive hidden cost of being an escort
Here is a blog I felt compelled to write. Why? A week ago, a young lady contacted me wanting to place an advert in my directory as an escort. I asked her for her website address so that I can see who she is and if she fits our brand to be included. She informed me that she was just entering the industry.
A big sigh from me. Not for the reasons that you may think. Many people would think differently but not me. I responded to her to think very carefully and think for a long time if she really needs to get into the industry, because there are consequences long term.
Needless to say, I didn’t hear from her again, and I am glad I didn’t hear back from her. It would mean she decided not to enter the industry.
Is this industry bad?
Before a bunch of you start jumping up and down, no this industry is not bad. It is fantastic! You can see the world, do very well financially if your’re smart from day 1 , and have freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it. However, not everyone is cut out for this industry. It takes a certain type of personality, confidence, fortitude/planning and street smarts to actually enter the industry and come out the other end a success. Because there are more escorts struggling then there are doing amazingly , contrary to what their twitter feeds may project. And because there are more escorts wishing they had done things differently from the beginning and not playing ” catch ups” in later life.
The biggest hidden cost no one tells you about
So everyone enters this industry for different reasons. Some due to a need to pay university tuition, some even last resort of desperation ( I hate even writing this, but it is true) other’s were introduced to it by someone, percentage due to a drug habit, a great number enter to look after their children ( single mums and I am a proud single mum too, so deep respect for single mums in the industry) and some like me, were just entrepreneurial when I started, and wanted to make money and were simply in a hurry to do so. Now, it would be impossible for me to write this blog where everyone will relate, because our reasons for entering the industry are all individual and universally different. So, for the purpose of this blog entry , it is written from my personal perspective.
I was glad that young lady didn’t contact me back. It means she didn’t give this new career path a good enough thought and maybe she now did. The reason why I say this is because there are hidden expensive costs, and no one tells you what they are until its too late. The expense is not material but emotional.
- Romantic cost Biggest cost is to your romantic life. Yes some of you will say, ” I am in a relationship and its working out fine. Mine is different”. Well, not really. Over the years, there is only a handful of relationships that I know of that have actually survived this industry intact. Let’s look at the facts. Men are primal creatures. They don’t like to share. Whether some want to admit it or not, they don’t like to share. If they are happy to share, is that because they don’t care and or/ they enjoy the money you ultimately bring in? I think there are very few men that will genuinely accept this profession and not harbour ill thoughts or even feel intimidated by it. ( at least those feelings come out at some stage during a heated argument). Because for all the acceptance and support of men on social media for escorts today, if it came down to the crunch, very few would actually have a genuine long term relationship with one that was based on mutual love and respect.. I know some of you will now roll your eyes and say ” not true ” but I disagree. Men love the idea of being with an escort. Its a fantasy. To marry one is another story altogether. To introduce them to family and loved ones and not genuinely care of their judgements. Again, few and far between. I know, you may disagree, but the cold reality is just that. I hate that we are not accepted more openly in society, but we are not and doubt ever will be to the way we should be accepted.
- When do you tell? As a young escort, you may not be thinking about relationships. But down the line, it will be a problem when you do want to be in a relationship. Do you tell the guy? When do you tell him? Do you say nothing. Here is why you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t. If you say nothing, you are starting the relationship as a lie. Its doomed to fail. Because somewhere down he line he will find out. Trust me, he will find out. And when he does, he will feel deceived. If you do tell him, when do you tell him? Early on would be detrimental too. He will not be emotionally invested, and he could very easily walk without consequences, or put up barriers so it would never turn into genuine relationship other then physical. Later on, he will feel deceived again you didn’t tell him earlier.
- Family and children. Because at some point, your priorities change, and you want a family and a good relationship. Well, most do anyway, and when you have been in the industry, that does come with baggage. No one tells you this in the beginning. No one tells you that once you have entered this industry, even if you retire, you are part of it and it is part of you for life. That it will follow you, so you better think long and hard when entering the industry to just pay your credit card bill. Are you comfortable with the legacy of it?
Being an escort can be incredibly empowering for a woman. But it isn’t the case for all women. The industry can also be isolating in many ways because being a socially not acceptable occupation, you cannot share with everyone what you do. Because people do and still judge, and because it is painful to be rejected because of your occupation alone. Escorts are incredibly resilient, strong women, and they need to be to survive and thrive. But for new ladies thinking they are going to jump in for a few weeks and pay those bills and get out? Please give it more thought. It is an incredible career path if you have given it plenty of thought and are comfortable with the challenges ahead, because there will be plenty of challenges. The most organised, with a clear plan in mind, and hard working survive and thrive. And make sure you are fine with the hidden cost. This industry is not a quick fix as many of you think. It is a business, with +’s and -‘s. So do your research, its not all glam and luxury travel. And walking away and forgetting you ever did it is rarely possible.